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Mouth of Sparkey

Monday, January 28, 2008

the little guy (not mateo)

Every once in a while I start to chuckle at exactly the wrong thing. Like the other day when two girls I know were expostulating really seriously and with great fanfare about how awful it was that women in the states didn't get paid maternity leave like women in Canada. I laughed because I thought they were joking. They weren't.

I laugh because globally and historically these expectations are somewhat ludicrous. I mean, c'mon! Not only do we get paid waaaaaaaaay more than the global average for hour hourly labor, but now we think we ought also get paid to NOT work? We think someone owes us money for nothing, because we're just such amazing people, such a gift to the workforce? How funny is THAT? How utterly richminded and lotteryistic.

Apparently, if you market the idea to people for long enough that they deserve something (like a break, or a luxury vehicle, or incredibly fashionable clothes) just for being them, they'll actually start to believe it. Don't get me wrong - I'm as anti -"corporation sucks profit and lifeblood out of the little guy" as the next chap, but SERIOUSLY, people, we are NOT the little guy. On WELFARE, we live better than the little guy.

The little guy lives somewhere else and will work in toxic, life-shortening conditions for pennies. The little guy is in China, a teenage boy burning piles of computers from America to extricate trace precious metals for resale. The little guy is in Indonesia, living under a violent, oppressive dictatorship for thirty years because some despot has the foresight to loudly oppose communism during the cold war (yay, america! let's hear it for propping up wicked men to keep those even more wickider russian satan-worshippers from running the planet). The little guy is the homeless guy in L.A. who has his plywood shack under an overpass torn down by transit authorities because it's a "liability risk".

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

he grows

My son is two feet tall. We took him to the doctor today, and apparently he's in the ninetieth percentile for weight at this age, and off the chart for length. I am trying to decide if the reason I keep telling random people this is because I am exactly like all those other misguidedly proud parents who pick all the wrong things to care about, or because it is yet another amazing fact, like that the average take in a bank robbery is around three thousand dollars. Who knew?!? Amazing!!

Thursday, January 10, 2008

all you need is love

You have heard it said by the Beatles not so long ago, "all you need is love". And verily I say unto you - this is true, and good. Love is the source of all that truly is, 'tis true. Without love, there is nothing. Nihilo. Nada.

If you are the world's deepest thinker, and can fathom all great mysteries and have set up a row of metaphysical ducks so firmly and perfectly that not a one can be knocked off (except by the imperfect logic of your jealous intellectual inferiors) but have not love... you are zippo. And if you can sing like Lauren Hill... and I'm talking Lauren Hill killing you softly... but haven't got love, you're just a freaking cymbal at a gong show. If you can bake the world's most delicious pie - so good that your brother would sell his birthright to get it (with ice cream, of course) - but you didn't have love, then you might as well be baking cow pies and garnishing them with rabbit turds.

Love is truth. Love is what God is. All you need is love - yes! But what does this mean now, today? That IS the question, because while love is always the same (it is), now is always changing, convoluting definitions as it goes. You might think this a reason to despair, wondering how you can ever fathom such a mystery as this (what with being in the thinking department but an ant, or perhaps a somewhat clever marsupial). This is where I (lovingly) come in. I will tell you what love is. So that you will know.

Love is patient. Love is willing to wait for love to win, for Truth to out. Love does this because love knows, really knows on a soul level, that love already has won, and that we happen to just be stuck, temporarily, in the poopy details of that victory.

Love is kind. That is to say, love is not mean. This is because love realizes that every other person has a whole big wide self, as big as my own self, that is as big and fragile and complex and beautiful and glorious, and love seeks to expand that other self towards greater and greater semblance of its True nature, by and through love. Love is really big on other people, and says nice things about and to them as often as love thinks of it, which is pretty much all the time. That is why the trees are so beautiful. It's love saying, "hey - you're neat!"

Because love is like this, it is not rude and it is never a selfish bastard. In fact, love is no kind of bastard at all, because it is the very essence of legitimacy, in that it is legitimate unto itself - by which I mean to say that it lacks for nothing but what it in itself is - which means that it can and does afford to forgive relentlessly and immediately anything it encounters that isn't measuring up. Love is eternal, see, while not-love is just a frippery we cannot like or understand that somehow (for now, I guess) gives form and context to love. It's a ying-yang, chiaroscuro thing that we'll only ever going to "get" a tiny glimpse of - like the bits you can see through an old, thick-glass leaded window. This doesn't matter, though, because love contextualizes not-love, which (for now, I guess) is enough.

As a result, love doesn't have to go prancing around in its underpants going "look at me! Look at me! I'm the cat's meow AND its pajamas!" Love is humble in the way that only true greatness can be: not self loathing at all, but rather loving itself so fully and perfectly, with such crystalline clarity, that it is able to perfectly love all others. Love doesn't gloat about how super-gra-apple-fritter-awesomepants it is (it is) - instead it rejoices in the truth . It sees the truth about everything and just LOVES it! It sees that folks are wonderful, and brilliantly put together, and complete in a way that cannot be augmented, ever, by anything that could be bought with a Mastercard. It doesn't require the destruction or diminishing of other people or things in order to increase (which it really can't/needn't do), so instead it protects and cherishes them.

It protects the environment, for instance, not out of some sort of guilt or fear of a future cataclysm, but because the environment is AWESOME, in the most awe-inspiring sense of that word. It perseveres in this attitude towards people, and things, and everything, because... well, just because that's the way it is. It's circular. Like a carousel. All good things.


A small child once told me that the most important thing is love. I wanted to say, "but what about not being a pissant and wrecking the earth in a consumer-driven, apathetic, self-worshiping drive for meaningless titillation?" Then I thought, "no. No. The kid's right. Love IS the most important thing. Or perhaps, just maybe, the only thing, really."

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

painting it up

I'm so exasperated with myself over my endless self recrimination. Ha ha.

I keep coming up with one more reason for not making a go of "arting" full time, and then feeling bad about it, and then wondering if I'll end up "wasting" my talent in the cesspool of humdrum. But that's silly.

I have a baby now - Mateo - and that means that my day has a few less empty spots than it did before. I get up, I eat, I go outside and do chores-for-rent. Then I clean up and go olive gardening. When I'm not doing that, I'm sleeping and getting up (on account of the screaming). Whenever I can, I wedge in an organizational moment in the development of my new website (woot! woot! hold on to your butts!), but I really haven't been able to find time yet to do any painting.

I'm going to be interviewed in maybe a month at this church art thing, and they're going to ask me how having a baby has changed the art I'm making, and I think I'm just going to have to shrug my shoulders and say, "what art?" But that's OK. Because life is art of the best kind, and making life is where life is really at. If that's a no-brainer, then color me vacuous.

The reality is, we went through a brain-rattling ordeal. Nobody expects to go through eighteen hours of labor, followed by a c-section and a week of real-life zero spousal sleepytime - but that's the reality. So I'm going to choose to be OK with that, and to make the art of my life into the most beautiful piece I've ever painted.

I guess that's what I can say, at church. That having a baby has made me into a cheeseball.