junking

Have you ever fallen asleep and dreamed that a mysterious stranger came along and gave you the wicker chair of which you've always dreamed? Well, that came true for me two nights ago. Let me tell you my story.

Every year, the City of Langley has one day (just one) when it has decided to let the wasteful citizens of this wasteful city in this wasteful province in this wasteful country on this wasteful planet be even more wasteful than usual. Instead of the usual weekly allowance of two large trash bins, they are allowed to put out on the curb pretty much anything they want, as long as it isn't some sort of heavy machinery, like a steamroller or a bulldozer.

As a result the poorer, lest wasteful, and (I would argue) wiser people are free to wander from house to house, looking for things they want but don't feel like buying. It's like a big thrift store, provided by people who are too lazy and/or depraved to have a sale or donate to charity.

Here is a list of the new and used things I brought home, absolutely free. I will include an approximate thrift store value: a nearly brand new skateboard (100) and another skateboard deck with trucks but no wheels (50), an antique singer sewing machine (100), a working fairly-recent sewing machine (100), a lampstand of the ikea variety (20), a computer microphone (10), one of those little coin-holders for your car visor (.50), a dish drainer (4), a four-foot oval mirror with quality, solid-looking wood frame (30), an orange duffel bag (5), one of those big metal things you screw into your lawn and attach your dog to on a rope (5), some shelves (10), a squeegie for my car (4), an umbrella with a nifty wood carved dog-head handle (4), one of those little wrist-exercizer thingies (1), an unopened kit for monogramming golf balls with your initials (2).

Total Thrift Store Value - $441.50

That's just what I brought home - my friend Aren got loads of good stuff as well, and it's embarrassing the goodies we left behind.

So, what are you waiting for? Get on the bandwagon and ride the stupid-people-train! Look at your City's website under waste management and see if they have a "get-rid-of-everything" day. The city of Surrey has a whole week! You, too can take advantage of wastefullness and corruption!

dentistry

If you want to read a truly funny story about dentistry, check out Micah's weblog on www.snellshell.com. I went to the dentist today and there was nothing funny about it whatsoever. The word is that I'm going to have my wisdom teeth jerked. Apparently the Creator of the Universe saw fit to give us four extra teeth at the back, so that when a few got knocked out in primordial mammoth hunts, they'd be able to push forward as a replacement.

For the average canadian young man, this isn't a problem - since the average canadian young man plays hockey, and could probably use several more than for.

I, unfortunately, am one of those what my Uncle would call "artsy-fartsy types". I rarely get in fights and almost never intentionally endanger my teeth.

So, if you should see me in the street in the next couple of weeks, pick up a large blunt object and aim for the crooked white area below my nose. I promise to thank you.

and paintings and stuff

There's a bit of a time-lag between when I finish new paintings and when they wend their way across the web to this site, so if you'd like me to email 'em to you, just drop me a line at jlbarkey@hotmail.com That way you'll be in there like swimwear, and all your friends will envy you for your coolossity.

tripping off

The art show was smashing/encouraging/fun. Lots of people, a great space, and good schmoozing experience. That last one's important, since I consider myslelf to be a horrible schmoozer, and from what I understand, in the gallerizing world the art of schmoozing is almost as important as the art itself. But I jest: I shall never (I hope) ever ever bow down to The Man!! He's selfish and sinful and stinky (and I don't like him).

Memorable moments, you wonder? Why, yes, in fact, there were.

Memorable moment one: getting stuck in an elevator with Dave Symonds for three minutes - a lifetime ambition acheived.

Memorable moment two: having my artwork complemented by someone who used the words "I like them because there's depth there, but they're still accessible to the common man". This is something I strive for, so success is succulent.

Memorable moment three: giving a gallery tour to some friends who showed up after half the work had been removed - most creative.

Memorable moment four and onwards: seeing a variety of old friends and acquaintances after plenty long-time. If I've told you twice, I've told you two times: friends are both the cat's meeow and its pajamas.