carpe jugulum

A fair amount of my theological instruction these days is coming from Terry Pratchett. For those who don't know him, Mr. Pratchett is the author of dozens and dozens and even more dozens of books, and happens to be Britain's best-selling living novelist. He writes edgy, insightful, wise, satirical fantasy; and is best known for his Discworld series, which is all about a world floating through space on the backs of four gargantuan elephants, who happen to be standing on the back of A'Tuin, the even more gargantuan World Turtle.

So I thought I would share with you a few insights from a moment in the book Carpe Jugulum (which includes vital information on how to defeat vampires), in which Granny Weatherwax (a witch) is discussing the nature of things with Mr. Oats (a preist of OM). To begin with, Mr. Oats says...

"There is a very interesting debate raging at the moment on the nature of sin..."

To which Granny Weatherwax replies...

"And what do they think? Against it, are they?"

"It's not as simple as that. It's not a black and white issue. There are so many shades of gray."

"Nope."

"Pardon?"

"There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is."

"It's a lot more complicated than that -"

"No. It ain't. When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they're getting worried that they won't like the truth. People as things, that's where it starts."

Later, Granny Weatherwax goes on to expound...

"If I thought there was some god who really did care two hoots about people, who watched them like a father and cared for 'em like a mother... well, you wouldn't catch me sayin' things like 'there are two sides to every question' and 'we must respect other people's beliefs'! You wouldn't find me just being gen'rally nice in the hope that it'd all turn out right in the end, not if that flame was burning in me like an unforgivin' sword. And I did say burnin', Mister Oats, 'cos that's what it'd be. You say that people don't burn folk and sacrifice people anymore, but that's what true faith would mean, y'see? Sacrificin' your own life, one day at a time, to the flame, declarin' the truth of it, workin' for it, breathin' the soul of it. That's religion. Anything else is just... is just bein' nice. And a way of keepin' in touch with the neighbors."

"Out of the mouths of witches..." they always say. Or something.