yum yum, eat 'em up

Well… since you asked, I think I can say with the uttermost confidence that a crunchy peanut butter, banana and honey sandwich on some kind of grainy bread is just about the world’s perfect food. Now, don’t go getting all uppity on me before I’ve had a chance to explain. Here’s why:

First, the crunchy peanut butter. Peanut butter is really filling and full of all sorts of very small good things that make your body boingy. The crunch is important because it will remind you that peanut butter actually comes from peanuts. This will remind you of goober peas, which will remind you of George Washington Carver, who did a lot of research into the bazillions of uses of peanuts (toothpaste, anyone?), started a good university for blacks, and did a whole lot to bring more equality to America. This in turn will get you thinking about how pride leads to racism, which ruins lives.

Second, the honey. Never, ever forget the honey. Honey has seven essential vitamins. It is also the only foodstuff that, if stored properly, will never go bad. They’ve found honey in the pyramids that was still good to eat. Eating this nectar of the gods will place you historically, allowing you to see yourself as a very small part of something much, much bigger.

Third, bananas. Bananas are great, but I have to tell you that before you die you need to go somewhere warm and pick a banana right off the tree and eat it. There is just no comparison in flavor and texture between a tree-ripened banana and one that’s been picked green, frozen, shipped, thawed, and ripened on a shelf. Bananas need to be on your sandwich because they’ve got potassium which is super-duper for dissipating the lactic acid which builds up in your muscles when you’re leading an active, physical lifestyle (Get out there! Do stuff!). Also, bananas could get you thinking about the third world from whence they come, where people work in awful conditions so that Chiquita can make a bundle and you can buy a hand of bananas for around a buck.

Finally, bread. Bread is what it is, man. Bread is life. When bread is made like it’s supposed to be it is good old, down-home, ma and pa and the farm type of stuff. Bread is about soul, family and love. Bread is about walking in the door after a hard day’s work and smelling a house full of inviting scents, begging to be eaten.

Then, when you’re done with your thoughtful sandwich, chase it down with a glass of cold orange juice. Mostly because I like orange juice. Also, though, because Gandhi spent a long time on a diet of fruit and nuts, and maybe as you drink it you’ll be filled with the energy oranges provide and you will begin to believe you really can make a difference.

What? You think I’m crazy? Well, you’re crazy. So there.