the suit

If you've been on this site often enough, you've probably caught yourself thinking, wow! What depth of meaning in this blog! What clarity of expression this young man has! How is it possible that with his pointed insights and persuasive manner he has not yet managed to garner the undying fealty of the populations of at least one or two small nation-states?

The answer is simple and I've said it before - hypocriticalness. People want to see me living with absolute, unflinching commitment to an ideal before they'll hop on board my love machine and baby, I ain't got it.

Take, for instance, this picture. Here I am decked out in a name-brand suit I don't need. Yes, it was on sale at BfM for five bucks, but that's not the point. Think around the deal to the principle - why did I buy this particular suit and not the bulky, wooley accountant ensemble that was next to it? And even more importantly, why did I put it on, take a shot of myself, and post it on the internet?

You see, that's where the whole "Josh/Hero/Worship" formula breaks down. Inevitably, I end up betraying that I am a slave to my baser instincts: in this case, fear of rejection. I crap out and buy a suit I don't need because I know the majority of people who see me in it are going to say, "hey, that's a tasty morsel of man-meat there! I shore do like him more than I did when he just wore ratty old long johns all over the place." As Pedro the Lion put it, the only reason I feel secure is that I am validated by my peers. While some of my peers are the sort of people who make their own clothes and eat locusts and honey all day, most are not. Most think Hugo Boss is the man. That isn't entirely the case, but it's a good file-cabinet's worth.

And even though you like to get on this site and think of me in some snug cob-webby little corner of my dilapidated shack, rattling away on my ancient two-eighty-six while sipping hot apple cider and plotting my next eco-friendly day, if you saw me in the street in this outfit you'd probably think, "nice suit". Then, if you're like me, you'd mutter under your breath, "rich philistine corporate schill".

You know what, though? I don't think we have to stay like this. I think we can root the deceptiveness and superficiality right out of our selves and start loving on eachother at the soul level. But there I go again, moralizing to sound wise. Please accept my apology and go attack a falsity in yourself.