junking

Have you ever fallen asleep and dreamed that a mysterious stranger came along and gave you the wicker chair of which you've always dreamed? Well, that came true for me two nights ago. Let me tell you my story.

Every year, the City of Langley has one day (just one) when it has decided to let the wasteful citizens of this wasteful city in this wasteful province in this wasteful country on this wasteful planet be even more wasteful than usual. Instead of the usual weekly allowance of two large trash bins, they are allowed to put out on the curb pretty much anything they want, as long as it isn't some sort of heavy machinery, like a steamroller or a bulldozer.

As a result the poorer, lest wasteful, and (I would argue) wiser people are free to wander from house to house, looking for things they want but don't feel like buying. It's like a big thrift store, provided by people who are too lazy and/or depraved to have a sale or donate to charity.

Here is a list of the new and used things I brought home, absolutely free. I will include an approximate thrift store value: a nearly brand new skateboard (100) and another skateboard deck with trucks but no wheels (50), an antique singer sewing machine (100), a working fairly-recent sewing machine (100), a lampstand of the ikea variety (20), a computer microphone (10), one of those little coin-holders for your car visor (.50), a dish drainer (4), a four-foot oval mirror with quality, solid-looking wood frame (30), an orange duffel bag (5), one of those big metal things you screw into your lawn and attach your dog to on a rope (5), some shelves (10), a squeegie for my car (4), an umbrella with a nifty wood carved dog-head handle (4), one of those little wrist-exercizer thingies (1), an unopened kit for monogramming golf balls with your initials (2).

Total Thrift Store Value - $441.50

That's just what I brought home - my friend Aren got loads of good stuff as well, and it's embarrassing the goodies we left behind.

So, what are you waiting for? Get on the bandwagon and ride the stupid-people-train! Look at your City's website under waste management and see if they have a "get-rid-of-everything" day. The city of Surrey has a whole week! You, too can take advantage of wastefullness and corruption!